I have always wanted to blog. After speaking with my web designer Evan (evanwebdesign.com), he encouraged me to stop thinking and to start blogging. As a result, this blog will discuss various issues facing our community and how mediation and mediation techniques can be used in our daily lives.
A client recently approached me with the question, “What is conflict resolution?” I answered, but in a round about way. “Oh, it’s dispute resolution.” My answer than transgressed to “Mediation is a type of conflict resolution primarily related to conflicts that have reached legal proportions.” My client smiled and we moved on. However, I walked away with the same question that she had. What is conflict resolution?
Wikipedia, while not always the most academic source is usually a great place for information. Their definition is as follows: “Conflict resolution is a range of methods for alleviating or eliminating sources of conflict. The term “conflict resolution” is sometimes used interchangeably with the term dispute resolution or alternative dispute resolution. Processes of conflict resolution generally include negotiation, mediation, and diplomacy. The processes of arbitration, litigation, and formal complaint processes such as ombudsman processes, are usually described with the term dispute resolution, although some refer to them as “conflict resolution.” Processes of mediation and arbitration are often referred to as alternative dispute resolution.”
Wow! After a first and second read, I decided two things. The first is that we all know what conflict resolution is in its simplest sense. Conflicts are issues or things in life that will go or are going astray. Resolutions are peaceful fixes to things that will go or are going astray. My second assessment is that examples can help paint a picture for what something is.
“Conflict Resolution” is the title of an episode of one of my favorite shows, The Office. http://www.nbc.com/The_Office/video/conflict-resolution/116196/ In this episode, Angela has a poster on her wall of two babies playing saxophones. Oscar complains to Toby in HR about the poster and how it is not good for his work productivity. Manager, Michael Scott, intervenes and tries to resolve their conflict. He then gets a hold of all of the existing workplace complaints. Ignoring confidentially issues or the most effective way to solve a workplace conflict, Michael reads out loud everyone’s complaints right in front of the person he or she complained about. While Michael is gallantly attempting to resolve work place conflict, this episode shows that conflicts happen everywhere and can be big or small. Moreover, that resolution tactics must be thought through and respectful of the people involved.
Conflict resolution can also be used in schools. Recent cases of bullying that have lead to extreme violence or death have made me and America wonder if earlier resolutions would have lead to peace. Children in schools from pre-school to high school can use resolution on a daily basis. I love this definition of conflict resolution found on Children, Youth and Women’s Health Service website for kids: “Sometimes we all get pretty angry. We may feel that something is unfair, something has been taken or broken that we value, someone is being mean, we’re not getting a fair share, etc. So what do we do? Well, we could throw a huge tantrum, get really upset, be mean to everybody etc. Would any of these things solve the problem? I don’t think so!” http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetailsKids.aspx?p=335&np=287&id=1521 Even as we age and our thoughts develop, we have similar emotions and needs, Sometimes I would like to say, “Mr. Smith you are clearly throwing a tantrum, take a time out.” Instead I say, “Mr. Smith, it seems as if you need a moment. Maybe we all should take a ten minute break.”
Conflict resolution in a general sense is legal or nonlegal. It is for the young and for the old. It is used every day even when we don’t realize it. It can be about our feelings or about resources. We all use it and need it. The question to ask yourself whether it is a legal conflict or your children arguing over which Thursday night TV show to watch is: How effective is my conflict resolution technique? Would this resolution meet everyone’s needs, as best as possible? Thank you for reading my first blog. I suppose I am now officially, a “blogger!”